Nicknames in the Republican clown car

I've decided to index my Republican 2016 clown car candidates with nicknames.  After all, a good team of clowns needs nicknames.

It seems like the joker candidates have defied the rules of matter by filling space, as their numbers grow inside the Republican circus scooter.  Here's my nickname list:

Governor Chris Christie -   Humpty-Dumpty Christie

Governor Scott Walker -    Howdy-Doody with a hair dye

Carly Fiorina-                     Fiorina-lie-orina 
(she misrepresented her leadership of Hewlett-Packard)

Governor Mike Huckabee   Huckabee-wannabee

Governor Bobby Jindal       Stupid Party Jindal-Jandal

Governor George Pataki      Spanky-Panky

Senator Ted Cruz                 Elmer Gantry of the Senate
                                             (also known as "Cruz to loose")

Donald Trump                     Trump  the Chump

Dr. Ben Carson                    Carving Carson (he's a surgeon)

Governor Jeb Bush              Bushy-boy Jeb!

Senator Lindsey Graham     Grampsie

Senator Rand Paul                Myopic-Madhatter
(he's an ophthalmologist)

Governor Rick Perry            Sarah Palin's lost twin

Senator Marco Rubio           Blinky Bottle Baby
(needed his "blinky bottle" during his response to State
of the Union addess see YouTube 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ZxJVnM5Gs)

Senator Rick Santorum        Little Ricky

Governor John Kasich         Why-O-Why-O 
(Governor of Ohio)

What do all of the above have in common?

They all have campaign money in common.  

How in the world these list of clown car passengers can sustain a presidential campaign, is beyond me. Certainly, no circus I know of should have so much money.  Does this list of candidates know how serious their responsibility will be, if they're nominated? I submit they do not know.  To them, being a candidate is more like taking money from babies.

They're in a clown card full of unqualified presidential candidates. They have no message, whatsoever, except to take as much money as they can grab from donors before fading into political oblivion.

Perhaps Bushy-boy "Jeb!"will be the clown car's driver, but by the time he shows some presidential leadership, the electorate will have fallen asleep.  

Republican clown car candidates must make a strategic plan. At the top of the list of their goals should be finding somebody who will re-brand Republicans as viable presidential leaders. None of the above show anything but entertainment value.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Hillary Clinton is, fortunately, retail campaigning. She's meeting real people while getting her message out to voters, regardless of how mesmerized the news media has been on the Republican circus clowns.