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Friday, August 05, 2016

Republicans who want to escape Trump - seeking political asylum at DNC by Borowitz

Any Borowitz always writes cutting edge political satire, but his August 4th blog in The New, could be a harbinger of GOP reality. Republicans who can't abide what candidate Donald Trump is doing to destroy their political party, might want to test out what it means to be an asylum seeker. Maybe, then, they can learn what desperation feels like.  But, will their hypothetical request for refuge at the Democratic National Committee headquarters be granted?

By Andy Borowitz , AUGUST 4, 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—
A humanitarian crisis has been unfolding over the past week as Republican refugees seeking asylum have overrun the Democratic National Committee headquarters, in Washington, D.C.

D.N.C. staffers have confirmed that they were woefully unprepared for the masses of desperate Republicans who have shown up at the D.N.C.’s door, looking for safe harbor.

“These people have been brutalized for months and have decided to risk everything to save themselves and their families,” D.N.C. staffer Tracy Klugian said. “When they tell you their stories, they are absolutely heartbreaking.”

Meg Whitman, who is sixty, said she left her entire life as a Republican behind after witnessing unspeakable horrors under the new G.O.P. regime.

Taking comfort from a blanket and a cup of coffee provided by D.N.C. staffers, Whitman appeared to be in a state of shock about where life under a failed state had brought her.

“I never thought I’d find myself in a place like this,” she said as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings of the D.N.C. headquarters. “Still, anything has to be better than where I came from.”

When asked if she had any regrets about her decision to flee, Whitman choked back tears before responding. “I had no choice,” she said. “There is no respect for human life there.”

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for
Unfortunately, there may be more truth than satire in this tongue in cheek Borowitz story. Is there a special room at the DNC where Speaker Paul Ryan and Senator John McCain can hide until the Canadians of Argo fame can smuggle them out?

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