Christian voters must wake up - Donald Trump is not your candidate

What would Jesus Do (WWJD) if Donald Trump asked to be his social media friend? Andy Borowitz says it's a "no brainer". Jesus would deny the request. (The Borowitz Report)

"The turndown from Jesus Christ, the inspiration behind one of the world’s most prominent religions, caps what has been a tough month for the Trump campaign," reports Borowitz.

Jesus refuses Donald Trump's friend request! Woah! 

Who knew?

In fact, Trump's bid to become a "born again" friend to Jesus, would fail.

NEW YORK 

Billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials acknowledged.

Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.

In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”

The turndown from Jesus Christ, the inspiration behind one of the world’s most prominent religions, caps what has been a tough month for the Trump campaign.

Privately, campaign staffers fretted that the candidate would pen a disparaging tweet about Jesus, which might alienate evangelical voters in key battleground states.  But, at Pennsylvania rally, Trump made no reference to Jesus, and instead touted endorsements he had received from Gary Busey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Joe (the Plumber) Wurzelbacher.

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.